The last day or so has been eventful. I was in bed on Saturday night, about 10.30, gettin high, relaxing and tindering when i found this amazingly hot dude who had too many pics with his kids. normally that is a automatic swipe left but this dude was just too hot….and he also looked a little too much like a older Tyler, so i swiped right. we matched. and pretty much straight away he messaged saying he thought we were meant to hang out. then i realized it was a guy id matched with like a month ago and spoke to a little on snap but i wasnt sure, he only had one pic and looked a bit rough. but it turns out i was wrong. he was stunning. so almost immediately i took the bus from my cosy spot in the walmart parking lot, over to his house. it… Read More "…nearly missed a 10"
November 11th 2017
Testing. Working Ok so i have a idea. Of what, of all, i can do with my time and myself at the moment and that is to exist and be me. I cant have a job. Im not doing bus life to move from job site to job site. I have learnt so much the last 3 months. And i am in such a good place right now. I want to start work on my website. I want to write what i do every day, so i can read it back. I want my voice to be one that is speaking to me. I dont have anything to say or anyone to speak for, a point to make. I just want to live my life and document it. I wouldn’t preach my ideas and thoughts on current affairs to myself in a diary. So that is how i will approach… Read More "November 11th 2017"
Stepping back
After all the changes of plans and road blocks I have faced already I am gonna step back from sharing on social media and stop thinking of this as my time to be making art. I want to keep my own diary. And I want to settle into this lifestyle. I’m going to do proper hikes. And that’s about it. Do all the free things. Just keep doing. Lighten up again. I want to react like a reasonable human. Not let my BPD react for me. I think I want to just be a normal person for a while. Haha a normal abnormal. Read More "Stepping back"
…couldnt keep up!!
im already way behind on what ive been up to. thursday night i had a threesome with step brothers. we roleplayed me being their older sister and i controlled my naughty little brothers and used them to satisfy myself in every way possible. much dp was done. and then friday and saturday night i spent being alpha to a beautiful boy who is normally dominant but wants me to control him and use him for my pleasure. i bought a strap on especially for him and for the first time got to properly fuck someone. it was a quick learning curve for me and i spent the weekend having the best sex in the best company. i havent had that much sex with one person in such a short amount of time in years. normally i get bored after a couple of times of them cumming. or im just done.… Read More "…couldnt keep up!!"
i have so much to do
i have creativity pouring out of me at the moment. i have so many posts i want to write, things i want to write about and pieces i want to make. every day is just going to be a process of getting as much out as well as still taking in more and having new experiences. im so excited about the artistic journey ahead of me. my best friend said to me last night; “some people have to live their life as art and be extreme and burn brighter than others to show people something about themselves. thats what i think of you when you are at your best. your most honest. and fearless. when you are doing things cos you love you not cos you hate you.” it was the most beautiful, succinct summary of how i feel i need and want to live my life. it is a… Read More "i have so much to do"
…started my own sexual revolution.
this week has already been one of the best for personal growth and sexual growth i have had in years. i feel like everything i know, am, and have been is all coming together and making me stronger, more confident and happy. the sum of my parts is greater than the different people i have been through the years. i no longer feel disjointed. i feel like i am everything i have ever been, not a wisp, bending and changing and moving on from past experiences. this strength and confidence in my self, my abilities and experience has led me to take the bull by the horns when it comes to my sex life. i have always identified as a “pleaser”. i like to make men happy. to make their bodies and dicks feel good and to act in the perfect porn way for them. but this does NOT get… Read More "…started my own sexual revolution."
…buried my face in a peach
im wide awake again and just had another mind blowing sexual experience. i am so glad i am settling into my sexuality and enjoying being the real me. 2 just left. we planned to spend the night rimming each other and playing with each others asses. which is basically what happened. i let myself loose on this perfect butt and used my mouth from the tip of his cock round to his asshole for almost an hour. i didnt hold back and buried my face deep within his cheeks, using my tongue, gently, tickling his hole, plunging it in as deep as i could, suffocating myself on his ass, i sucked and tongued and kissed his gooch and balls, stroking his cock when my lips werent tickling the shaft. i did everything with my mouth that felt great. i have already lost track of what happened when and how. i… Read More "…buried my face in a peach"
i can see again
stream of consciousness on my afternoon walk: It’s all just come to me. I can see everything now. I know who I am. Not who I thought I was. Or felt like I am. Or was made to feel like I was. Or imagined other people saw. I saw myself for real. Who I am and what I have done. Through MY eyes. A veil of darkness has been lifted and I can see myself and my life with genuine love and pride. I am EXACTLY who I want to be and my WHOLE life I have done exactly what I want. ALL of it. I am not, nor have I ever been a victim. He made me feel like a victim. He made me have to fight to be seen as a victim. He made me have to become only a victim. To prove how awful he was. He… Read More "i can see again"
…had the best sex of my life
i know for sure, 100% i just had the best sex of my life. with a stranger. i met him on the swinger site yesterday. he likes a woman in control and i have been wanting to flex my alpha muscles. we decided upon tease and denial, fluffy dom shit. he was really hot and lean, which is why i chose to see him first this week. he was gonna lie there and let me tease and edge him as long as i wanted and use his body for my pleasure. and that is exactly what i did. now, time out, this is now the time i come clean about all the times ive acted out, or been in, scenarios where i am using someone for my pleasure, but have in fact been putting on a act as the porn version of my sexuality, to make sure the men i… Read More "…had the best sex of my life"
…joined a swingers website
im not going into sexual detail right now cause what i need to do is schedule the rest of my week to fit in all the fun im trying to have! i only have two nights or days can i do things. so im planning a variety of sneaky fun. this is who im trying to fit in: Bo – wants to be controlled. i want to tease and edge him for as long as i see fit. Ben – has a beautiful butt and body and wanna bury our faces in our butts Bill – just has a massive cock. it looks so amazing. i want to just be left to play with it how i want! Con – is hottt. we wanna try some kinky roleplay, currently deciding what exactly! Mr P – he came over last time and ate a strangers cum out my pussy before cumming… Read More "…joined a swingers website"
Sex Professional
i want to be a sex professional. i want to help people with any sexual queries they may have and come up with sexual solutions to their problems. i want to help couples who aren’t sexually compatible be happy, practically and conceptually. i want to help people reach their sexual goals and fantasies. i want to teach people who want to know more, about sexual acts, naked confidence, sexual exploration and the ways it can all improve your general confidence and well being. i want to help people not feel ashamed about sex, sexuality and fetishes and bring it out of the shadows as and acceptable part of everyone’s life and being a well rounded human. i don’t want sex to hold anyone back or make their life’s difficult. i want to encourage sexual honesty, for yourself, your current and your future partners. Read More "Sex Professional"
i dont think im scared any more
i am not scared any more. Read More "i dont think im scared any more"
starting
i am 32. i am currently staying with my mom in england, in my childhood bedroom. i have no car, no property and nothing of value materially. Read More "starting"
“I Talked To 1400 Strangers About Their Sex Lives. Here’s What I Learned.”
A collection of modern ideas that make us better in bed and partnership …Over the past twelve months, I’ve hosted Touchpoint more than 20 times, including special events in Mexico City, San Francisco, Miami (2x), and Montreal. 1400+ people have attended and 400+ questions have been submitted. I’ve learned a lot about what’s working and what’s not for people in bed, partnership, dating, marriage, and more. Below are some of the things I’ve discovered. So far. Jared Matthew Weiss Read More "“I Talked To 1400 Strangers About Their Sex Lives. Here’s What I Learned.”"
High Thoughts
I keep thinking about writing at the moment when im high cause im letting my mind wander much more about the world around me than myself. its really enjoyable for me to process things and understand them. I was just thinking about how everyone sees russia as a threat cause they are just getting into the big money game and spreading it around the world. everyone expected it to be china to spread around the world first and they havent. So people are suspicious that asia is isolationist and only a few countries or places break out and link with the west. so china is a big threat cause of how much money they have over there compared to the western markets. in the west its gotten to the point where the people with all the money and power inherited it rather than worked for it and Russia and China… Read More "High Thoughts"
LiveMe…Not OK
There are way way too many teenage girls on this site, some even younger who think its a good idea to sexualise their image in their bio pics or their stream. They wear clothes and dance in a way that could only be that way to entice men and boys to watch them. They are encouraging men to sexualise under age girls. They are their own worst enemy. They are SO SO unaware of themselves. They tell people their real names and dance in a way that even a woman of full legal age would be judged for. The are asking to be attacked, stalked or worse. This shouldn’t be encouraged. Other women need to teach girls how to use their woman hood in a positive way. Not lean on the basic fact that they are female and men want to take advantage of that. I have spent my life… Read More "LiveMe…Not OK"
Art 19th February 2017
I have decided its time to start making art again. I realised it is the best way for me to be me. It is why i am me. It is who i am. I can say what i want, how i want. After art school i didnt make anything. I had nothing to make art about. At goldsmiths i was able to fly against the traditions of their art course and students. But as soon as that need to rebel was gone i had nothing left use as fuel for my artistic fire. I thought i had left the art world forever. I considered myself entirely separated by early 2007. 10 years ago. I did not realise this. Ha so now i have decided to make again. I am going to use the media i have learnt to use over the past 10 years to ….share my adventure with people….and… Read More "Art 19th February 2017"