Always remember when you are listening to me, try to follow my meaning. It’s difficult, but you have to try. In that very trying you will get out of your meanings. Slowly, slowly a window will open and you will be able to see what I mean. Otherwise there is going to be confusion: I say something, you hear something else. – Osho, Love, freedom, aloneness: the koan of relationships. Read More "Semantics"
…nearly missed a 10!
13th November 2107 The last day or so has been eventful. I was in bed on Saturday night, about 10.30, gettin high, relaxing and tindering when i found this amazingly hot dude who had too many pics with his kids. normally that is a automatic swipe left but this dude was just too hot….and he also looked a little too much like a older version of a evil ex, so i swiped right. we matched. and pretty much straight away he messaged saying he thought we were meant to hang out. then i realized it was a guy id matched with like a month ago and spoke to a little on snap but i wasnt sure, he only had one pic and looked a bit rough. but it turns out i was wrong. he was stunning. so almost immediately i took the bus from my cosy spot in the walmart… Read More "…nearly missed a 10!"
We know nothing of the possibilities of sex.
We know nothing of the possibilities of sex. I have had sex with hundreds, maybe even around a thousand men. I have done almost all the “interesting” and “kinky” things I am interested in…and some I was not. And I have never once had sex in a truly interesting way. When it comes down to it sex is a penis sliding in and out of a vagina and the main goal of sex is for a man to have an orgasm in that vagina. And this is achieved by the man using the vagina as a surrogate hand. The hand they use to wank themselves to orgasm in whatever way they enjoy it. Once all the bells and whistles of what is considered “foreplay”, “kinks” and “games” are over, you are still left with a man, pumping away at a vagina until they can cum. There is only one pace… Read More "We know nothing of the possibilities of sex."
Welcome To Me
I am no longer satisfied by having sex, sexuality and sex work discussed, researched and written about by men, or women with no experience doing sex work, with only limited sexual experience of their own, with bias, with limits, operating within the constraints of what currently exists, or highlighting problems that never get solved or truly addressed. I think its time for people with the relevant experience, knowledge and insight into anything to do with sex to speak up. We won’t ever get anywhere if we keep relying on inexperienced people sharing their thoughts on things of which they have only limited personal experience. I am a woman who has taken part in all aspects of sex work for 8 years, who studied and wrote her dissertation on female sexuality in the 21st century at University of London, who has had nearly 400 partners, been in love at least 8 times,… Read More "Welcome To Me"
I’m done with being harassed in public. Take note.
One of the most affirming situations I’ve been in recently has been my mom seeing and confirming how intense the amount of men and the situations they hit on me in are. One stand out interaction was in Lowes. I was wearing old dirty, torn clothes. My hair was up and greasy and I had no make up on. I had a notebook and was working out what sizes of wood I needed to build my kitchen. When a man heard me speak. He lingered around us for a while with his friend till he started up a conversation about my accent. The “in” for all men here. He asked about my project. And then offered me the use of his work space in exchange for a date with me. My mom played offended and asked if she was invited. He said yes, if it meant he could have a… Read More "I’m done with being harassed in public. Take note."
Everyday Rape
This is a story i need to get off my chest. It starts well. But this blog is about sexual reality, not just a bunch of stories for random men to jack off to. This whole situation has made me incredibly angry. I don’t want to work. I dont want to be nice. And i certainly dont want to make more gross men cum. It happened with a giant cock. The first time we met was in the bus. It was late. We couldn’t move around much and had to be sneaky. He couldn’t hurt me with his giant dick. It was quite fun. It was exciting to have such a fat dick to try out and play with. The second time was at his apartment. He has two annoying dogs. I hate dogs. I don’t really remember the details that much. We ate indian food which was good. And… Read More "Everyday Rape"
…took an anal virginty
im a girl who likes boy booty. i like a peachy round ass. i like grabbing and squeezing muscular, meaty cheeks, as well as spreading them and burying my face in them and tongue fucking their holes. i like using fingers inside them while i suck a nice big cock. and ive been lucky enough on a few occasions to see their rosey ass hole get stretched out and used by my strap on or a dildo. ive also fisted a couple of asses…but thats a bit too much for me. i like a bit more of a innocent asshole. and it hurts my hand. i actually dont remember the first ass i fucked. it might have been for someone who paid me to do it. in fact i might only have gotten balls deep in a fuck buddys ass for the first time last year. i had a spell… Read More "…took an anal virginty"
…used a glory hole
i have attempted to write this story about four or five times now and i still dont know what tone i want to give it. maybe that is the point. it has to be both. it was fun, crazy, sexy, exciting but it was also boring, gross, unnerving and unsatisfying. as was my host. id met him on tinder two or so days before and had immediately got onto the idea of having a night of crazy sex. he was in a open relationship and likes playing with men and women. i had been searching for some bi MMF time and had been struggling to find what i wanted. the day before i had even swore off tinder as a waste of time at finding me good sex with good people. we clicked instantly and were planning how we could live out some of my fantasies. we decided we would… Read More "…used a glory hole"
…fucked Ron Jeremy
id gone to vegas for the adult entertainment expo four years ago while i was still working in australa, making bank and feeling on top of the world. id been having a great time at the expo and a few nights before id partied on stage with diplo and went to a strip club to meet pauly d and diplo afterwards. i was fully in vegas mode. the first few nights id racked up a couple of additions to my list, and by that saturday i was at a total of 299. i knew i needed to make my 300 a good one. i wasnt sure i was gonna have another hundred so this might be my last big number to make the most of. numbers have always mattered to me. my list is my collection. ive already written about choosing someone for my 100. so, i was at the… Read More "…fucked Ron Jeremy"
DM DM: Post Sex Reminiscing
I’m getting really over talking to men I have had sex with and have no plan of ever seeing again. They don’t seem to go away. Some are fantastic. We fuck, we bond, I leave, and I never hear from him again. I am so rarely in the same place twice and if I am I want new experiences. Most people don’t warrant a follow up visit and are no way high enough in my priorities to go out my way to see them. So why do I have to keep speaking to them? I entertain the memories they have of us fucking and feed their egos by engaging with them. But I don’t reminisce to my past partners. I don’t have anyone I want to message and tell them it was the best Sex of my life and talk about it. I don’t care what number 73, 321 or… Read More "DM DM: Post Sex Reminiscing"
Black Friday
Apt. I am feeling black. I havent written in a negative mood yet and i need to. it is a feeling that is with me as often as the joy, happiness and peace i feel. Actually I think i still find myself feeling dark more than half the time still. I think i need to sign off dating apps now too. i announced my hatred of social media and my leaving it behind today. The more i try and connect to other people, find like minded people, or look at what other people are doing similar to me, the more i feel like im alone. The less similar i feel. The more frustrated i get that the vast majority of people will never understand the world the way i do or want to live in it the way i do, the less excited about my own choices i am. The… Read More "Black Friday"
Lets Talk About Sex
Why can’t we talk about sex? Some people may say that there is no need to have a public conversation and space for Sex, that it is a private matter between the two consenting adults partaking and that it is crass or vulgar to talk about graphically. I believe, however, that it is something that urgently needs bringing out of the darkness and into the light. Sex is something almost all of us do in our lifetimes. We don’t all do it all the time, some of us do it more than others. Some do it every day. Some only do it when it’s really necessary. To a lot of people a happy/good Sex life is a important factor in their relationships, well being and lives in general. Our sex life’s have an impact on our mental and physical health. And our Sex lives can be as varied as our… Read More "Lets Talk About Sex"
Another Day, Another Collection of Thoughts.
Day 10 on the sex drought. The last guy i rejected has cursed me. The failed date I drove to pick up and then just didnt like. I had such high hopes. And such blue balls. And I havent had a release since. Well Ive cum alot. Just only by my own hand. And that isnt what i need. I need some weird, kinky, extreme, exciting sex. I now have over 200-250 emails. And a offer from the cutest boy on my Tinder. But its STILL not happening. So I guess it is me now. Am I being picky? Ive emailed with a few of them, but nothing has progressed. When it works, it just works, with all the people i meet. Craigslist isnt helping me either. It cock blocked my last two posts about the specific kinks i want to explore right now. More specifically, soomeone now keeps flagging… Read More "Another Day, Another Collection of Thoughts."
Craigslist Personals: Desperate Times.
i often stop writing half way through what i was saying. I get bored of the story so I dont push it. yesterday my obsession with sex took over. i spent the whole day looking up people online, messaging a couple of people on t/b (gonna have to abbreviate that shit or come up with a universal name for them that isnt “dating apps” maybe DAs). I even ventured on to craigslists casual encounters section. I expected it to be filled with adverts for massage and escorts, but instead there were mostly just posts from people looking for certain sexual experiences, right now. the more i read, the more i was thinking it might work for me if i posted what i wanted. my frustration was building so much that by about 5pm i posted my first ad on craigslist. 19 hours later i have nearly 150 replies and I’m… Read More "Craigslist Personals: Desperate Times."
I Want Sex
I want Sex. I can’t find any. I am talking to a fewwww guys on tinder and bumble but nothing is jumping out at me. No one I can really be bothered to have a conversation with, let alone suggesting a swinging from the rafters type session with! I get frustrated at times like this. Cause it should be easy but it’s not! I wish I could approach someone in public if I wanted them. I have giant balls. But not when it comes to approaching men. I’d love to walk into Walmart (I’m parked here, it’s not part of the fantasy) and see a hot guy and just tell him I wanted him to come back to the bus and fuck me. I guess I’ve done it in nightclubs and pubs a lot. Just never in daylight! And not for a very long time. Also. I’m bussy now. Hairy… Read More "I Want Sex"
Trying To Start
Argh I have stuff to do but i just need to write. i feel so good. yes. im pretty high but i have been having a lot of ideas, or thoughts this morning. i listened to a podcast about feminism and hear about Catherine Hakim and Economic Capital. She is everything I would say….. …..I was trying to start writing about a feminist podcast that id been listening to and each time i re read it i needed to change it. i couldnt get it write. i cant get what i think in my head to make clear sense on the page. to a third person. that is what being good at writing must be. I cant communicate my ideas very well at all, but I can tell stories. Also formulating my own feminist theory isnt something I can probably bust out in half an hour in starbucks. so for now. I will only… Read More "Trying To Start"
…couldnt keep up!!
im already way behind on what ive been up to. thursday night i had a threesome with step brothers. we roleplayed me being their older sister and i controlled my naughty little brothers and used them to satisfy myself in every way possible. much dp was done. and then friday and saturday night i spent being alpha to a beautiful boy who is normally dominant but wants me to control him and use him for my pleasure. i bought a strap on especially for him and for the first time got to properly fuck someone. it was a quick learning curve for me and i spent the weekend having the best sex in the best company. i havent had that much sex with one person in such a short amount of time in years. normally i get bored after a couple of times of them cumming. or im just done.… Read More "…couldnt keep up!!"
…started my own sexual revolution.
this week has already been one of the best for personal growth and sexual growth i have had in years. i feel like everything i know, am, and have been is all coming together and making me stronger, more confident and happy. the sum of my parts is greater than the different people i have been through the years. i no longer feel disjointed. i feel like i am everything i have ever been, not a wisp, bending and changing and moving on from past experiences. this strength and confidence in my self, my abilities and experience has led me to take the bull by the horns when it comes to my sex life. i have always identified as a “pleaser”. i like to make men happy. to make their bodies and dicks feel good and to act in the perfect porn way for them. but this does NOT get… Read More "…started my own sexual revolution."